Big Book Of Girl Stuff

Melinda (“Boom”)

My sister Melinda is a lieutenant colonel in the Army National Guard. She has twin sons, Aidan and Collin. She is very organized, and she is accustomed to having other people follow her orders. (Like me, when she was helping with the book!)

Sarah (“Eah”)

Of all my family members, Sarah might have the biggest heart. (Not that it’s a contest. And if it is, I have the biggest pancreas, so there.) Sarah takes care of her twins (Katie and Dominic), the neighbor kids (who are always over at Sarah’s house), her animals (Sarah once adopted a one-legged chicken that she felt sorry for), and everyone else (she’s a nurse.)

Mary (“El Twerpo”)

Mary is a law enforcement/rescue operations officer at a national park in California. The youngest of the nine King children, Mary can play one mean banjo. Mary is the mother of Noah Thorin and Nicholas Ulysses. (Cool names, huh?)

Pat King

I think it’s possible that my sister-in-law Pat has super powers. These are not the usual super powers, like Invisibility or Really Good Taste in Men. No, Pat has super powers like Unruffle-ability and The Ability to Make All Children Like Her. How does she do it? Dunno!

Cindy King

My sister-in-law Cindy (on the right) read and reviewed every page of the first draft to The Big Book of Girl Stuff. After she was done, it went from a mess to the finest book of its kind ever published. A teacher (yay!) and mother to Mitch, Harrison, and Cassidy, Cindy is pictured here engaging in her weekly “trout-off” with my sister Mary.

Lori King

Lori is an accomplished chef, a fashion queen, and most importantly, she loves her kids more than any other mother on the planet. Just ask her! Lori is pictured here with her golfing expert daughter, Alaina. Not pictured are her son, Evan (sweet kid!), and her husband, Peter (uh... uh-oh!).

Mariam

Mariam is her name, and she swears she looks nothing like Einstein. Some people call her Squishy, staple, Mariuma, but to “The King” she's known as Curly. Mariam is in high school now and it has been roughly 4 years since King’s class... and she still hasn't recovered.

Mariam enjoys acting very much and is in the plays/musicals at her high school. She hopes to continue with acting in a film career (not on stage) after graduation.

On top of enjoying many things, such as art, writing, and reading, Mariam likes to pretend she's a pirate. She enjoys drooling at Chanel clothes, studying Johnny Depp's performances in movies, dreaming of Europe (especially France to use that French she knows so well along with Amanda: Et nous allons obtenir l’argent même si nous devons le voler du Monsieur King) and having the firm belief that any problem can be fixed by listening to Carly Simon and eating brownies.

Random Stuff: Mariam is thoroughly convinced that Keith Richards is still standing due to the fact that he's not fully human, because no one can be that old and still rock. Mariam and Mr.King have a cult in which they worship Bill Haverchuck and listen to terrible 80's music. Au Revoir!

Allyson

Hey, my name is Allyson and I am weird in the most average of ways. Everyone calls me an over-achiever which is somewhat true, but my friends and family know that I am the laziest “Type A” personality that you will ever meet.

My dream has always been to be close to animals, so in 7th grade I decided to start my future path in the direction of the vet career. I train Guide Dogs for the Blind and work at the zoo, and I don’t get paid...in fact I have to pay them! I have met a lot of great people through my life and I am still friends with some of the kiddos I met in Mr. King’s class almost 5 years ago. Oh, and by the way, I won't be one of those animal-loving people who has no social life other than the precious one with her cats... I hope!

Amanda

Amanda has a variety of interests that make a unique gal. She is addicted to a broad range of film genres, such as action, comedy, romance and romantic comedy. Among her long list of favorite films, the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy is at the top of the list. When she's not speeding down the side of a mountain (skiing, of course), she is busy directing and acting in movies filmed by her friends and herself. Though she aspires to be an actress and become involved in the Hollywood industry, she does wish she were a swashbuckling pirate like Elizabeth Swann or (Captain) Jack Sparrow.

In the coming year, Amanda hopes to tour Europe, especially France as she would love to put her French to practice.

Ali

Ali is a girl of many names, but only one face. She is really a Colorado Kid at heart, but has spent most of her life living here in Oregon. She's trying her best to avoid growing up, but adulthood keeps sneaking up on her in the most unexpected places. Ali enjoys reading good books, discovering new favorite songs, trying to speak French, playing with her two cats, making wishes, and staying up past her bedtime. This ex-Sasquatch is the proud winner of the Artistic and Creative Achievement Award and was once voted “Most Likely to Disappear Inside a World of Her Own Secret Thoughts.” However, she was more than happy to share (some of) her elusive thoughts on The Big Book of Girl Stuff and hopes that young ladies everywhere will smile as much as she did when they read it.

Kelcey

Hi, my name is Kelcey and I am an ex-student of Mr.King’s. My friends say I’m a nerd but I would claim that to be a false impression. Nerds don’t have a social life, whereas I am very involved in school via the Speech and Debate club. Nerds also don’t have a sense of style, but let me tell you I am not unfashionable, I’m just a trendsetter.

In fact, my bright red backpack has become a fixture in schools these days — all of the teachers have one in case someone gets hurt and needs immediate medical attention. I also have some great hobbies. When I’m not re-reading the Harry Potter series, I’m re-watching Star Wars. So as you can see I’m a very cool cat indeed.

Kylie (a.k.a. “Naomi” thanks to Ms. Inglett!)

First off, I am extremely proud of my 1/2 Japanese heritage. Lately, because of that, I have been purchasing Manga with all my extra money. My friends got me started, and once I found out how many there were, I started collecting almost immediately.

Another more recent little known note is my change in music preferences. I hardly listened to any music, but then about a year ago I got an iPod! After this, I began to look at other types of music. I may not look it, but my favorite bands are System of a Down, Disturbed, Korn, My Chemical Romance, AFI, and Rammstein. Most people find this extremely scary, considering they are all really loud rock bands. My other interests include drawing manga and anime style art, re-reading books over and over and over again, and watching movies. I hope to get a job someday as either an author/artist or something to do with animals.

Allison

Growing up, Allison was strange young girl. She enjoyed creating bizarre garments out of whatever she found around the house and then often wore them to school. Unfortunately, her peers did not understand this personal approach to fashion. Luckily, being a naïve, pure-hearted maiden she was she didn’t understand that they didn’t understand her. People finally got used to her and decided her cause was to hopeless to be remedied by teasing.

Allison lives blissfully unaware in a happy world of butterflies, sunshine, and various anime hunks. She has quite a few friends too! (Most of them are deranged anime fanatics like herself.) Together, they all happily skip through their wondrous animated fields with their hot boyfriends just like any other dysfunctional family.

Kristina (a.k.a. “Krissy”)

[The following was written by Kristina’s “friend”]:
When mentioning Kristina, you must mention some of her flaws. Krissy thinks thinks skimboarding is where you drink skim milk and skateboard at the same time. She also thinks that if you swim too far into the ocean, you’ll be abducted by aliens.

Krissy has a strange obsession with cutting her hair. She stays up until 4 A.M. watching reruns of “Law and Order: CI.” She can’t do middle splits and she wants to be a contortionist only so she can weave herself through security laser beams. She believes that Cirque du Soleil is a French-speaking circus from outer space, that has its headquarters on the sun, and that the makeup they wear is to protect their fragile faces from the pollution here on earth.

Other info: She’s 15 years old, has an older brother (featured in the picture), 3 birds and 2 bulimic fish.

	Rachael “Sarcasm” should be my middle name. I add sarcasm to life like a chef adds salt to a dish. It adds flavor, sometimes good sometimes bad, it all depends. They say, “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade.” I say, “Hand the lemons back and ask for limes. At least you can make a non-alcoholic margarita!”

Megan

Hey, I’m Megan. I was in King’s class about two years ago, and since then I’ve been known as the cool dork. I work as a trustee’s assistant and the only reason I still work there is because Tom Petty CDs can get expensive and I’m not allowed to quit. If I’m ever able to branch out, I would love to work as a herpetologist (that’s somebody who studies amphibians and reptiles) and I’m currently trying to convince my parents that reading is indeed a sport and that my brother’s room would fare much better as a darkroom.

Francesca

Francesca is always thinking up of fun things to do; here, she is shown playing the legendary Chucking Cheetohs game. It’s very challenging: One person wraps a garbage bag around her shoulders and sits with her back to the competitors. She then puts on a shower cap which is covered with shaving cream. The competitors then start chucking Cheetohs at the shower cap! Whoever can make the most Cheetohs stick, wins. (Francesca is aware that this is very silly.)


Don Alton’s grandkids gather here to take a vote on their favorite book. And the winner is…?


		Your reward for scrolling down this far is this picture of the cutest animal on the face of the earth. Is it a puppy? A rabbit? A stuffed animal? No one knows for sure, but isn’t it the cutest widdle thing?

Girl Stuff Home


		Gretchen (a.k.a. “Fotch”) When my sister Gretchen was growing up, she REALLY wanted a horse. Unfortunately, her eight siblings usually ate all of our household’s oats and alfalfa, and so Gretchen had to make do with plastic ponies. Now that she’s a hotshot grown-up, Gretchen has gotten a full-size horse named Missy. But because she looks way too regal riding it, here’s a shot of Gretchen enjoying some berry pie.